Am I Imaginary?
by Cordys-Vision
Summary: Harry has been keeping a very big secret from Cedric. What happens when he finds out? Harry/Cedric Pairing.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does. I Just like to mess with her charcters a little bit.**

**A/N: Some quick things you should know, this takes place during Harry's 5****th**** year everything in Goblet of Fire has happened. But things are just slightly different. Read on! Enjoy! And please review! Reviews make my entire day and inspire me to write more stories for you guys!**

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cedric's voice was shaking as he spoke and I wanted to hold him, tell him it was going to be okay, but I couldn't. The tears were already streaming down my own face and I could hardly breathe as it was.  
"I'm sorry…" I whispered. "You…you didn't remember anything! I couldn't...I couldn't tell you!" Cedric turned away from me, but I could still see the tears glistening on his perfect cheeks.

"You lied to me. You LIED to me, Harry how could you? And now I have to go away!" He was screaming now, and I wanted to die, that's all I wanted to. All that felt possible at the moment.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, trying to hold back the oncoming flow of tears. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I just…I wanted to keep you. It was selfish, but I didn't think you would stay if you knew…" I reached out to take his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Please stay with me." I said, in a choked whisper. Cedric looked at me for a long moment the tears falling ever so perfectly down his cheeks, he slowly shook his head.

"I can't…" He whispered, his hand pulling away from mine. "I can't stay. I have to go. But I don't want to leave you. Harry, I'm so afraid to be without you. Where will I go?" He asked, barely above a whisper.

Harry turned away from him for a moment to look at the doctor. His appointed therapist. Appointed by Dumbledore who insisted Harry have someone to help him through his grief over his boyfriend, Cedric's death. Dr. Kearney, or Dr. K as Harry was allowed to call her. Harry looked at the doctor for a long moment, and then shook his head.

"He doesn't want to go." He whispered, "He's afraid. I can't do this. I can't tell him to go away. I…I need him."

Dr. K nodded, crossing her legs, surveying me. "Well, remember what we talked about Harry. This is better for the both of you. You have to let him go."

Harry nodded, biting his lip. "I know, it just hurts." He whispered, as Dr. K nodded.

"I know, Harry." She whispered, "I know."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cedric asked again sharply. I looked up at him, already missing him, though he wasn't gone yet.

"He wants answers." I said quietly to Dr. K, she stood and lightly touch my shoulder.

"It's alright, Harry, Let him know everything he asks."

I nodded, turning away from her to look at him, he looked so broken, and it was all my fault. That hurt the most. I let out a deep breath before answering.

"You didn't remember. You just came back with me. You walked with me into Dumbledore's office, and you sat with me and you listened to what I told him happened in the graveyard." I closed my eyes, trying to breathe, and then I shook my head again.

"I needed you to stay with me." I finally let out, sniffing. Cedric stared at me for a long time and then shook his head, smiling a little.

"Oh Harry, it's okay, I forgive you." He shook his head. "You're so silly sometimes…I can stay. I'll stay with you. I won't listen. I won't listen to that woman. You shouldn't either. She's just trying to take you away from me. Come here…" He said softly, holding out his arms for me. I shook my head, the tears really gushing now.

"No. You have to go. You're…You're dead. You're not here. I'm…making you up."

Cedric's eyes widened and it was like I could see his heart breaking in them. It made me want to die even more.

"What?" He said in a quiet voice. "I…you want me to go away?" He bit down on his lip hard, shaking his head vigorously. "I've never been without you. I'm…Harry, I'm scared. Please keep me…Please keep me." He was pleading now, and his words hurt me so much. "God, Harry, I'm so sorry, please don't leave me."

I reached out my hand, my fingertips touching his lightly. "You feel so real." I let escape my lips.

He took my hand and pulled me in closer to him, pressing his lips against my shaking ones, and then he pulled away, shaking his head.

"I am real. You make me real." He whispered as I pulled back from him completely.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered, shaking my head. "You have to go now. I have to be normal. I can't keep you with me. I want to, but I can't…" I bit down hard on my lip. "I love you so much Cedric Diggory, You're my whole world. But you can't stay with me. I'm so sorry. Please don't make this harder."

Cedric let out a bitter laugh through his tears. "This is ridiculous, Harry. You need me and I need you and what's bad about that? Where is the bad? I love you. Where am I supposed to go? Who's going to talk to you every night until you fall asleep? Who's going to sing to you when you feel sick at night and you can't control your nausea? Who is going to hold your hand when you're scared? Who is going to make you eat breakfast every damn morning? How are you going to live without me?"

And now I was bawling, because I didn't have an answer to those questions, I was going to die without him, and I knew it. I turned to Dr. K, shaking my head.

"No, I can't do it. I can't. Not today." I shook my head again vigorously. Dr. K watched me for a long moment, before letting out a sigh.

"Harry, please try and remember what we talked about. Remember? You're strong, Harry. You can do this. We can't keep putting this off. He has to go."

I nodded again at her, my eyes moving back to Cedric's. He was glaring over at the doctor, his eyes glazed over with tears.

"She's ridiculous. How dare she! How dare she tell you to get rid of me, I'm just as real as you are. Harry, please you know me. You know that I'm real. Harry, please."

I could barely speak. He was so beautiful and I was breaking this beautiful boy to pieces. Figment of my imagination or not, I was hurting him.

"I can't do anything about it, Cedric. They're going to just give me pills to get rid of you if this doesn't work anyway. You won't stay with me forever. I'm sorry you died. And I'm sorry that I kept you for so long. I love you. I love you so much. But you have to go." I reached out a hand and touched his cheek lightly. "Say you love me and goodbye" I whispered in a low voice.

He stared at me a long moment with wide eyes. "No." He said sternly, shaking his head. "I'm not leaving you." He finished through his teeth.

I let out a sigh shaking my head. "I want you to go." I said my voice shaking. "I want you to go away." I was bawling again, my whole body shaking. "Go. Go now. Don't come back. Stay away. Stay away Cedric. "

"You don't mean that." He said angrily, "You don't mean any of this." He reached out to touch me, but I pulled back, shaking my head. "Get out of my head. Get out. Leave." I closed my eyes tightly, shaking my head. "Leave!" I finally screamed and then there was silence. I waited a few moments and then opened my eyes. Cedric was gone. It was only me and Dr. K left. Her voice was quiet as she said.

"I'm very proud of you, Harry. You've accomplished a lot today. You've done the right thing. I'll see you again tomorrow at 6." She said placing a hand on my shoulder and squeezing lightly. "Get some rest. You've had a hard day."

I stared at the spot Cedric had been for awhile and then nodded, before heading out of the office and into my dormitory. I wasn't shocked to find Cedric there waiting for me, on my bed. I knew he wouldn't be that easily deterred.

"Hi." I whispered as, I climbed into bed with him. He wrapped in arm around me, sighing, shaking his head.

"I figured it would be easier to speak with you, without that awful Dr. K woman…" He shivered. "She's horrible, Harry. You shouldn't see her anymore. She puts awful Ideas in your beautiful head." He said, leaning down to kiss the top of my head.

I let out a sigh and then shrugged, not sure what to say. Dr K wasn't awful, but I'd never tell Cedric otherwise.

Cedric stroked my hair for a moment before whispering, "You know, maybe we should just keep me…a secret…between you and me" He kissed my forehead and then my cheek. "I can be your secret. That way, you can keep me. No one will take me away."

I nodded, but the tears were welling up again and soon I was a mess, crying all over Cedric, getting his shirt wet.

I looked up at him, biting my lip, and out of breath I mumbled.

"Am I crazy?"

Cedric smiled shaking his head just a bit. "Not to me. Not even a little"

He let me cry for a few more minutes and then suddenly his face turned really sad for a moment and he looked at me, his gaze holding mine and whispered,

"Am I imaginary?"

It was my turn to smile, I shook my head. "Not to me. Not even a little."


End file.
